Thursday, August 6, 2009

Meat Slurry

I read about this, and the idea of liquid meat is repulsive to me. In general, even though I love the taste of it, the idea of meat makes me want to vomit. But liquid meat? I didn't read the entire process of meat slurry, but my over-active imagination created images of flesh being ripped from chickens, dumped into some kind of metal tub filled with rotating blades, and churned over and over until some kind of meat-oatmeal concoction remained. I can see it vividly in my head, and I want to puke.

I forced myself to eat some chicken mcnuggets today for lunch, and I think the reason they didn't taste so good this time around was because I could not get the idea of meat slurry out of my head. The last time I had them, they tasted great. Now, there was something off about them. I've eaten canned pork and haven't had a problem with it. I love Spam and think that it's delicious and gets bad-mouthed too often. But meat slurry just sickens me.

Even the name of it, especially the name of it, makes it unappetizing. When I hear "slurry" I immediately think of cold, summer beverages, akin to Icees. Now imagine a meat Icee, filling up one of those cups to it's clear funnel lid. It's just wrong.

All meat-based food production is vile. Have you ever seen what a McRib looks like when you wash that sauce off of it? If you ever want to eat a McRib again, you won't look it up.

And not just fast food. If you stop and just look at a bunch of meat just lying around, it looks gross. Even "good" meat looks gross when you consider it for a while. Which is why I try my damnedest not to sit around considering meat. I just want to continue eating it because it tastes incredible.

Please scientists, continue working on meat substitutes that taste like meat. I love steak. I love chicken. I love bacon. I just don't want to think about meat slurry anymore. Maybe make a nerf-like meat structure that can be easily shaped and tastes exactly like meat. It can be done. It must be done. Hopefully, my children will eat genetically created Frankenfoods that don't look vile and taste delicious. And hopefully they'll never know the horror that is meat slurry.


Cherrybomb said...

If I didn't know you so well, I'd think you were you turning into a vegetarian.

Sofia said...

damn right! roland, come to the tofu side.

Robobza said...

So you want the same thing, just with highly genetically modified vegetable byproducts? For the good of your kids?

Oh boy.