Wednesday, January 14, 2009

McNeeley Can Eat It

Growing up, I hated most sports. In fact, I took weighlifting in high school specifically because I didn't want to play a sport, and it was the only other option available. A tradition that I do miss, however, was my dad inviting a bunch of people over to watch a boxing match. Even though I hated sports, I enjoyed boxing, mainly because it was so basic. Two guys beating each other up...how could an angry teenageer not enjoy it? I never had a favorite boxer, but I tended to root for underdogs. Thus, when Mike Tyson had his post-rape "comeback" fight against Peter McNeeley, I rooted for McNeeley. I remember everyone gathered around that cramped living room, loud, speaking Spanish, and gulping down mouthfulls of beer. I was off to a corner, not really talking to anyone, and the only thing I would do is holler "MCNEELEY!!!!" when he would show up on the screen. No one really backed either of the boxers, but they were pretty sure that McNeeley would end up flat on his rear end. Regardless, everyone was pretty excited about the fight, myself included.

Finally, after a retardedly long build up that NO ONE was interested in, the fight started. I hesitate to call this farce a "fight," but that's what it was billed as. After 89 pathetic seconds, McNeeley's manager threw in the towel, under the lame excuse that he was preventing him from taking any further damage. Everyone in that room was furious that the fight ended so quickly, and it was generally assumed that this match was a sham and that we were all ripped off.

Other McNeeley embarrassments in the ring include him getting floored by Butterbean in one round, and then getting knocked down in the second round against Henry Akinwande.

As pathetic as McNeeley was in the ring, it turns out that he's even more pathetic out in the real world. According to Wikipedia, in 1998 he was found passed out drunk outside of a sub shop in Massachusetts. In 2006 he was arrested for punching a man and stealing his wallet (the man was probably more stunned by the punch than anything else, since this schmuck can't box). Finally, in 2006 he was arrested yet again, this time for driving a getaway car used in a Walgreens robbery. In addition to $180, he also stole a fanny pack. As sad as it is, getting "knocked down" in a fake fight with Mike Tyson was the highlight of this idiot's career.

It might seem easy to make fun of a washed-up boxer, but I don't care. All I remember is that night, watching the Tyson/McNeeley match, I was pumped up and excited for the fight. What I got was a joke, which permanently destroyed not only how I viewed boxing, but professional sports in general. It was so obvious that the fight was fixed, that I was even more bitter after the fight than I was before. Thanks a lot, jerk. You ruined the only sport I liked.

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