Wednesday, December 24, 2008

2008 We Hardly Knew Ye



I'm on Twitter now. Maybe you care. Quite possibly you don't. If you're of the creepy stalker persuasion, you can follow my ass via the following info:

RolandStLaurent

A few things before the year ends.

I got to experience the economic shit storm first hand by having my hours cut in half at work. While this gives me more time to work on my classes and dick around, I do miss having the extra money to save up. Usually when I'd hear about disasters in the news I was little affected by them, but this time it wasn't the case. I also bought $3,000+ worth of stock this year, since I finally felt confident enough to invest. Then I got to see my money disappear. I know that I'll get it back eventually, but it's still pretty fucking funny. I don't know if our new Jesus-In-Chief Barack Obama can save us all, but if by the end of his term I have more money and can see a doctor, then MAYBE I'll break with my principles and vote for a Democrat.

Speaking of politics, this election season was by far the most interesting one I've ever seen, aside from 2000 Green Party run. Since politics is just "show business for ugly people" (I think Paul Begala said that), they all put on a hell of a show this year, and I commend them for it. Too bad the debates were dull as fuck.

I graduated this year, and I thank my fantastic girlfriend Nelissa for supporting me through it all. Actually, I'm glad she put up with a lot of my shit this year. One year and she hasn't dumped my ass yet. Must be doing SOMETHING right.

My friend Sofia wanted me to include the following: Sofia's on meds and seems to be coming to. We've also known each other for ten years now and have managed not to kill each other. Amazing.

Also, I'd like to give thanks to Scott Douglas, blogger extraordinaire and my supervisor at work. Not only am I now immortalized by being included in his book "Quiet Please," but he also let me guest blog at his own site and has in general encouraged me to write. Sure, I've let this blog fall to the side recently, but I'm still glad for the support, even though he called me fat at work the other week. He also asked me to be in his wedding, though fortunately not as the bride. Congrats to both him and his wife, and I hope they start having kids soon.

Um, I also don't have Jury Duty, so that's a plus.

As for trips, Phoenix Arizona was fucking boring. The only good thing was the Mystery Castle, which everyone should see. Also, Nelissa and I got to experience the amazing Salton Sea when we visited Salvation Mountain (you must see it, even if you're a non-believer). As soon as we left the Salton Sea I spent an ass-load of time reading up on it, and watched the documentary Plagues and Pleasures on the Salton Sea, which is damn funny and worth a view. Hearst Castle was dull, and Solvang had some good goddamn pastries.

The Bush years will officially end next month. I think I speak for most people when I say that we learned a lot about what a president can get away with in the midst of a pretend war. I can't wait for thirty years to pass, so we can fully appreciate the consequences of what happened.

Will next year be as exciting as this one? Who knows. I should be leaving for Denver next week, and I still have no idea where I'll be ringing in the new year. Y'all take care.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Interesting Things I've Stumbled Upon

I have recently become interested in cult books and plan on writing about them in the future. In the meantime, here's a link to a review of Kahlil Gibran’s Collected Works by Alan Jacobs, probably one of the funniest reviews I've ever read. Yeah, it starts getting tired around the middle and loses steam, but I laughed out loud at the opening:

"Expansive and yet vacuous is the prose of Kahlil Gibran,
And weary grows the mind doomed to read it.
The hours of my penance lengthen,
The penance established for me by the editor of this magazine,
And those hours may be numbered as the sands of the desert.
And for each of them Kahlil Gibran has prepared
Another ornamental phrase,
Another faux-Biblical cadence,
Another affirmation proverbial in its intent
But alas! lacking the moral substance,
The peasant shrewdness, of the true proverb."

The rest can be found here:

http://www.firstthings.com/article.php3?id_article=6068


Also, I have an somewhat disgusting fascination with Ayn Rand. Not that I believe her "philosophy," but because I am intrigued by the idea of a cult made up of allegedly superior intellects. If you're interested in dating one of these superior creatures, here's an article I found through The Daily Dish about a dating site for Ayn Rand fans. A warning to the ladies: If you've actually read an Ayn Rand book and know how the sex scenes work, then you know that setting up a date with one of these charmers will undoubtedly end in rape. If he likes you enough, that is.

Here's one stud that's sure to moisten your drawers:

"thustotyrants, Selden, New York
[I am] short, stark, and mansome.

You should contact me if you are a skinny woman. If your words are a meaningful progression of concepts rather than a series of vocalizations induced by your spinal cord for the purpose of complementing my tone of voice. If you’ve seen the meatbot, the walking automaton, the pod-people, the dense, glazy-eyed substrate through which living organisms such as myself must escape to reach air and sunlight. If you’ve realized that if speech is to be regarded as a cognitive function, technically they aren’t speaking, and you don’t have to listen."

http://nymag.com/news/features/artifact/51814/