Thursday, June 12, 2008

Puff Piece, or Things I Love


(With apologies to John Waters)

Some people accuse me of bitching too much. So to the haters, fuck you. There's plenty of shit that I love, and if you'd pay attention to the love that pours out of my heart like pus down a homeless prostitute's perineum, you'd see that I smile more often then not, and get legitimately excited about lots of things. Here's a small sample of things that I LOVE.

A bright blue sky after a bout of rain, with everything slicked and looking new.
When I hear a terrible song, one that I've always hated, and for NO reason start loving it.
Flaming Hot Cheetos con Limon...especially when I scrape the layers of cheese/Limon powder off of my fingers with my teeth.
Getting packages in the mail.
Coming home from work and finding that someone's bought me food.
Waking up ass-early in the morning and not being tired.
The feeling of winding down after doing something that I've spent the past several days worrying about.
The world may disagree, but I LOVE the way I look in plain white shirts and wife-beaters.
When I rediscover a previous obsession, and all those long-gone feelings come flooding back all at once.
When a DJ actually plays something that I both love and never in my life expected to hear.
Reading about the Mormon faith and Mormon history.
Also, seeing non-insulting references to the LDS in popular culture.
When, during a casual conversation with someone I barely know, something I say reminds them of something that they adore, and you see their faces light up and they start talking faster and more enthusiastically than before.
Historical Linguistics.
Biological anthropology.
Finding dichotomy in everyday things.
Having certain beliefs that I've held for years shattered.
Talking to people and having them one-up me when it comes to saying something shocking or foul.
That fresh out-of-the-shower feeling.
Taking a nice long piss and having that weird feeling that you've earned it.
Women in sweaters.
Delicious twists on common expressions, such as when my professor was talking about intimacy and said, "love will NOT conquer all."
Any stupid joke that begins with "now that's what I call..."
When I'm having a conversation and there's rapid references to shit we're both familiar with, and we both get it.
Sassy black women.
Rose Maddox's singing voice.
Reading about the dark underbelly of the music/film business.
Those old-fashioned devil costumes with the floppy horns.
When people say "get it?" after telling a lame joke.
Stretching and hearing my bones crack.
The words "sleepy" and "scary."
Banjos.

I will add to this when I think of more things. For the moment, there you go. PROOF that I'm one happy-go-lucky fuck.

4 comments:

Scott Douglas said...

Nice to see your girlfriend makes you happy! Oh, wait...

cherrybomb said...

no buki time? :(

ajay said...

i hope you've read krakauer's under the banner of heaven. it's a terrific exposure to mormon history.

Roland Saint-Laurent said...

I've listened to an abridged audiobook of Krakauer's book, and it's fantastic. I plan to read the entire book at some point.

And Scott, stop instigating!