Monday, June 2, 2008

A Conundrum


I was talking to a friend about an episode of Oprah, and the conversation brought up some interesting problems. I would like to state that I did not see this episode of Oprah, nor do I watch her show, so this entire conversation came about by way of a digression. Anyhow, she told me that the guests were these twins, both female, and one of them had a sex change to become a man. Apparently she had the body structure of a man and looked manly, and only her voice was feminine. Sex changes have been going on for years, and there was little that was unusual about that for me. The odd part came when the manly twin said that she still was attracted to men, so basically she turned herself from a straight woman into a gay man.

Well, this man-woman will ALWAYS be a woman in God's eyes, and also through sheer scientific reasoning. I mean, she will never be able to get someone pregnant, thus, she will never be a man. It's all just major plastic surgery, like that one scary bitch who's trying to make herself look like a cat. But that's not the point. The point is...she still loves the cock. This set my mind going in a million directions, and I had a few questions about this.

Since she's a woman with a penis, if a straight guy fucks her, or if she fucks a straight guy, does this make that straight guy gay? I mean, we're ALL curious at some point. Can a straight guy marry her and still be considered straight? She still is a woman, except she has a fake dick and balls, and I believe some extra hair. If they get married, is it legal? Gay marriage is still up in the air, but these stupid laws are dictated by religion, and I'm sure that the preachers would still consider the manly chick a woman. If she hooks up with a gay guy, does this make the gay guy straight, since he's having sex with a woman and loving it? Since she's a woman and ass-sex shouldn't provide any kind of pleasure for her, does she get all of her sexual enjoyment from sucking guys off? It's not like she has a prostate or anything. Finally, as a gay male, will she be able to give her sister better pointers on how to satisfy a man? I've never fucked a guy, but I've heard some interesting stories...

In discussing gay qualifiers with my friend, she told me that if you have gay tendencies, then you're gay. I then asked if someone was in a gray area because their girlfriend stuck things up their ass, but she assured me that since these things weren't attached to a man, they were in the clear. But what if they were attached to a fake man? I mean, I'm sure if a straight guy was sucking a woman's dick, he'd still be straight, right? Just because you're fucking a woman who had surgery to make herself look like a cat, it doesn't mean you dig bestiality, so I'm sure the same applies to this. I don't know. This is a question for the ages, which can sit snugly with "Why are we here?" and "What is the sound of one hand clapping?"

2 comments:

Scott Douglas said...

That sounds like a question for Cha Cha! Or at the very least a magic eight ball...

Shannon said...

I think the song "Gay/Not Gay" by King Missile may answer some of your questions.