McDonalds has finally done something which is beyond despicable for me. I know that they have no shame, and that every single person who works for this company is a prick son-of-a-bitch asshole, but this time they have gone too far. They completely ripped off my favorite fast food place, Chick-fil-A, and have started serving what they call their "Southern Style Chicken Sandwich." Not only did they rip off Chick-fil-A's two signature sandwiches, but they're even going so far as ripping off the same fucking ad campaign for the breakfast biscuit sandwich. I eat at Chick-fil-A regularly, as one can tell by my ever-expanding ass, and I am quite familiar with how they advertise their food. The "HOLY SHIT! Chicken for breakfast??? Who'd have thunk it???" ad campaign is one that they've been doing ever since I started eating there, and I was horrified to see these McDouchebags doing THE SAME EXACT SHIT. Absolutely fucking shameless.
By the way, I've tried this new sandwich, and it's OK, if you like the taste of a fat man's asshole after he's spent half an hour on a treadmill eating a bag of Ruffles. Also, this piece of shit sandwich failed The Gristle Test, and I had to spit out parts of it before I could finish. This has never been a problem with Chick-fil-A, since their sandwiches seem to be made out of real chickens, and not mutated retard chickens which are torn to shreds and mashed together into some bullshit lump of "meat," probably containing beaks, claws, and rodents. The difference between the Chick-fil-A sandwich and the McFil-A "sandwich" is similar to the difference between Marilyn Monroe and Lindsay Lohan. One of them's the real thing, the other is a disease-infested whore trying to get a few extra bucks by imitating the real thing.
McDonald's Southern Style Chicken Sandwich
All this anger over a sandwich? You're goddamn right. I have fond memories attached to this place, from the free Christmas photo taken with the "Santa Cow," to the delightful weekends passed eating these tasty treats while talking about my dreams and ambitions with the love of my life. This place is special to me, in a way that McDonalds will never be. Fuck you, Ronald McDonald. I hope the Chick-Fil-A cows take turns smashing your skull open with their hooves, and end with a bukkake scene that would make even the most depraved tramp turn their head in disgust.