Wednesday, May 21, 2008

A Love Letter To Chocolate


I love chocolate. I don't care if it makes me a bitch, I love it. I can suck on Hershey bars for HOURS and still want more. Shove a funnel in my throat and pour in the fudge, because I want my body to TINGLE. Sometimes after eating a large amount, the back of my eyeballs start to feel like live wires...dancing around and shocking the shit out of my brain. If I were a character in Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, I'd be Augustus, because that fat bastard was into EVERYTHING there. They'd know better than to let me into that place. I'd leave marks on everything, chomping and gobbling and devouring every corner of that place, running my tongue along the walls and up and down sweet hard chocolate poles and sucking out the filling. My heart is racing...I need some NOW.

I get midnight cravings, like my old baby-eating bitch of a boss. I'll be lying in bed, my body slicked with sweat, and the only thing on my mind is where the FUCK is my chocolate? I need it so badly...please, I'll do anything you want if I could just get some chocolate...I'll do the dishes, I'll polish the floor with my feet, I'll scrub down the tiles in the shower, just please give me a bar of chocolate. I feel cold, my arms are shaking, my eyes have sandbags under them...Dear God, what have I done to deserve this?

The stores are open, and of course I rush in with my hand eagerly holding several bucks to slap down on the counter. I find everything I need. I always do. I know what I want. I hand over my cash, collect my change, and get the hell out of the store and back onto the streets.

I'm back home. I open the door, close it, lock it, and go to my room. My shaking hands peel apart the delicate wrapper, and I stare at it's long, delicious form. My darling, pretty soon you're going to be in my mouth. I have to admire it for a little while before indulging myself, because it's a gift that God gave the world. A New World delight. I could drink it, of course, and I do, but at times like this, I need a nice, solid piece to enjoy.

My tongue gently laps the tip, and I quiver all over. Oh dear God, YES. This is what I've been craving for hours...my only reason for waking up. I enter it slowly into my mouth, my lips dragging across every end. I feel the hard candy move from the tip of my tongue further and further back. At this point, I thank God for not giving me a gag reflex. The deeper I can ram it in, the happier I'll be. I move my mouth back and forth on it, sucking and licking but NEVER biting. I want to savor the taste of it in my mouth. I stop, and let it sit gently on my tongue. I can feel it's delicious juices ooze into my throat, and I swallow every drop. Then I get back to work. My mouth starts hurting, I've been at it so long. I feel like my lips are going to turn purple, yet I continue. I have to keep going. This is the happiest moment of the day, when I hold this sweet candy in my mouth. I feel that the size has gone down. Unfortunately, all my pleasure, all my joy is coming to an end. It gets smaller, and smaller, and smaller, and then...nothing. All I'm left with are small pieces hiding in my teeth, and a dark streak on my tongue. It's over. All gone.

I lay back, exhausted but with a feeling of absolute bliss. My mouth is stiff and tired, but in another hour, I'll be back at it. I need it in me. I'm always dying for it. I love chocolate.

2 comments:

cherrybomb said...

Thanks for ruining chocolate and chicken sanwiches for me, you jerk! I'm never going to buy you anymore darkies.

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