Wednesday, April 23, 2008

A Letter to Satan

Dear Satan,

I need some help. I have recently discovered that I am in love with somebody. There are several problems with my situation, problems which you may be the only person with the solution to. First of all, the person who I am in love with...we have never met. In fact, they have never seen me and I have never seen them in person. Second, I am in love with a man. Third, I'm straight. You may have heard of this man...his name is Justin Timberlake. He is an entertainer. I have followed his career for quite some time and have amassed a rather substantial collection of graven images which bear his likeness. When I go to sleep I nuzzle with a pillow which is draped with a large picture of his beautiful face, with his gorgeous eyes and the words "Cry Me a River" written along the bottom. I have even constructed a life-sized Justin for my pleasure and to keep me company when I am lonely. I use fresh slices of chicken fat for the lips, and have dug a hole in the crotch which I fill with bacon, peanut butter, and vegetable oil for when I'm driven to some of my baser urges. This is no easy problem to solve, so I have devised a solution that I think you'll be able to do for me.

I do not want the real Justin...his disappearance would be too obvious. I would instead like you to construct a duplicate. It would work like this: The face needs to be an exact copy. Any deviation from his regular appearance is unacceptable...I am sure you understand this. He needs to have big breasts. I love big breasts...the kind that, when my hands are pressed against them, they start to creep around the edges and push out. He obviously needs to have a vagina. I am a straight man, and I like female genitalia. His ass, however, is desired to stay muscular and manly. I would like him to have no body hair whatsoever. Also, feminine hands and feet are desired, but if this is not possible, I then I will go for a slightly girlish design instead. Finally...even though this is going to be a copy...I want everything that we do to be seen by the real Justin in his dreams. When I'm eating his pussy, I want him to see it. When I'm sliding my prick in-between his big, delicious tits, I want him to see. I want that connection, otherwise there is no point.

I am willing to hand over my soul for this arrangement. I know that cash is of no use to you. Please contact me if we can make a deal. I am sure that if we meet face to face or have a talk over the phone, we can hammer out the specifics. I have a baby.

Love always,

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